Loki… I finally got my LOKI TATTOO!

IMG_20160423_194220421Tattoo. I finally got the tattoo!  What ended up finally motivating me was the possibility of more surgery in the future. (I love this tat!!)

It’s been about a year and a half since the hysterectomy and I was hoping that maybe the Endo my doctor found wouldn’t return to bother me.  But in the last several months, I have been feeling worse (sigh).  Speaking to a doctor locally confirmed that it’s entirely possible the damn Endo is back and making me sick.

So. I got the Loki tattoo when I was in Phoenix to visit my Daddy this last weekend.  He’d offered to pay for my first tattoo when I was ready and so we went in on Saturday and we got this wonderful black tattoo at “Top Rocker Tattoo” in Arrowhead, Phoenix, Arizona.

I am so happy with this tattoo.  Now I can bring Loki with me even into surgery and other medical things, when I can’t wear my pendant or anything else.  I look at the tattoo and it makes me happy.  I think of Loki, of how he’s been there for me during the scary parts of my life, as well as I now have memories of my Dad and the amazing experience we had together as I got this tattoo.  I love my Dad very much.  He’s a really incredible guy and he’sTOLKIEN a tough old marine.

He introduced me to Lord of the Rings and the man who influenced me to begin to write, J. R. R. Tolkien.

“It’s an adventure,” my Dad said as we pulled into the parking lot of the ‘Top Rocker’ tattoo shop in Arrowhead shopping plaza.

It’s been a sentiment we’ve always had during the scarier/stressful parts of our lives and it’s because of, as Dad put it, “Ol’ Bilbo.  He had to tell himself it was an adventure, didn’t he, sis?” (‘Sis’ is because I’m the oldest in my family, my brother is younger than me by 9 years.)

I’ve even repeated this to my own kids… even as I drove my (17 year old Aspergers) son on the 200+ mile drive to Phoenix this last weekend to visit my Dad and brother (who happens to be my son’s favorite guy in the world).  “It’s an adventure, Lith*.”

I’m still trying to figure out how to tell my Mom, since she’ll most likely get on my Dad (they’re divorced) about paying for it and encouraging me…  But I’ll figure it out.  I love my Mom as much as I do my Dad (glad they are divorced, btw!  More on that someday).

Anyway, I’m happy and glad I got it before I might have to look forward to further Endometriosis surgeries.  I can bring Loki with me everywhere.


*Lithium: my oldest





Loki’s Kids: Some hard truths

I really wish more people would see this and understand it. The only Asatru in my area directly told me they would be fine with me joining them as long as I kept my mouth shut and never mentioned Loki.


Loki sons

“Everyone knows that Loki is the bringer of discord, that his followers are all damaged people who disrupt the community”

You know, as we grow up, we all hear and accept certain truths from our community, and that is fine. What is not fine is when we never question how far the “truth” we accept differs from the experiences we have, and the people we actually know.

“We are our deeds”

This is another of those truths we all accept, and if this latter one is true, then I am the bearer of bad news, the harbinger of woeful tidings. Loki’s kids have earned an esteem far higher in our eyes by their deeds than we have ever allowed them, and we are DEEPLY shamed by our conduct towards them in return.

I have heard “Loki killed Baldur” as the trump card about as often as “Jews killed Jesus” and…

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Grouchy, Sick and Neglectful… and (at least!) Writing

too_many_choices1This post is a variety of things.  I’ve been sick over the weekend which has made things kind of frustrating for me.  I guess I just need to vent a bit or something.

One point seems to be the entry in my Correspondences document on December 13 as Loki’s Birthday.  I remember reading a blog somewhere, where the poster explained why that worked and at the time, I liked the idea.  Problem is, I don’t know who that was or where the post was.  I have been looking for it the last week and couldn’t find it.

December 13 came up and… (maybe because I’m sick, I don’t quite know)… it just didn’t feel right at all, you know?  So I took the entry off the Correspondences for now, until I work this out to an extent I’m comfortable with.

I also have been working on a new novel.  Helping Nayru (my bff) get her first book ready for publication, I came across our chosen publisher’s Oromance-gay-wedding-cake-topper-0pen Submission Call page.  So, since I’m always interested in what kind of open calls publishers have going on, I took a look at it.  They’re doing an
Open Call for Gay Marriage romances, but it closes today, actually.  Luckily for me, when I was looking at this, it was a couple weeks ago.

So I grabbed a piece I had been working with and continued to work on it, running a quick edit and outlining, hoping I could come up with a good story that would come in at at least 20K (that’s 20,000 words).  I do wish I’d known about this a while ago, of course.

So thinking I might actually be able to do this book before the deadline, I launched into it and was working.  Unfortunately, other stuff, like life, was
getting in the way and slowing me down.  And, to be honest, a lot of that was also me.  I have so many stupid blocks in writing now, it’s hard.  I really wish I could write like I did in High School, when I’d just spend the whole day writing and enjoying what I was doing.  Ah well.

Anyway, I managed to get going with it, and then ended up getting diagnosed with a sinus infection and got put on antibiotics.  Which, of course, pretty much derailed my weekend.

This last weekend, I got the house to myself and my dog and I was writer-1planning to use it to get some serious writing done.  Well, it was pretty clear by Saturday that 20K wasn’t happening, and I needed a day to create a submission packet.  Luckily for me, this publisher happens to accept Proposals on WIPs (works in progress), and I had enough finished that I could definitely do a Proposal.  I got together what I had, edited and polished it as much as I could with it being the first 3 chapters and spent yesterday working on the synopsis and the submission packet.  So I got it out to the publisher before the deadline, which was good.

Problem is, I still feel like I didn’t get what I told everyone else I was going to do, done.  I think being sick, taking the antibiotics that make me feel a bit worse, and being generally grouchy anyway don’t help my outlook on the word at this point.

That, and I feel really like I’ve been neglecting Loki a lot as well.  I really wanted to do something special for the 13th, but wasn’t really able to do much more than set up my altar space (which, becrainbow+high_resolution+pc_thems+mobile+wallpapers 2ause of the way the house is currently set up, is a shelf on my wall book case) and put the little electric candles on (luckily, since Loki is very connected to electricity/lightning in my experience, this works out well).  I did use my ‘Loki Scarf’; a delicate, Irish burnout velvet scarf which is more of a ‘sacred vestment’ kind of thing; as an altar cloth.  I plan on swapping this out, but it felt like the least I could do since I’d felt like I was being so neglectful lately.

I suppose I should really give myself a break, since I’ve been sick and dizzy, but that’s really hard to do.

On another note though, I have made a commitment to write more and the first thing I am doing is only writing for at least 10 minutes a day.  So this includes blog posts (as long as avatar_58a8f20e3f81_128it’s straight writing).  I’m hoping to get back into the habit of writing a lot more often this way.

By the way, this post took 20 minutes to write. Yay!