Updated Correspondences

Been doing cleanup and so forth on the blog (or attempting to) and updating things.
I have updated the Correspondences page, though, hopefully it will be useful for my dear readers. 🙂

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November 29

I don’t have much explanation for why I’ve been so sparse on this blog since last year.  I’ve been pretty lethargic and just out of sorts for a while, pretty much since last September.

Since my last post, I got two more tattoos; chaos star and red, black and white stars. I also was able to get a favorite manuscript of mine re-published with a new e-book publisher.  Politics took its toll on me as well and I pretty much stopped doing a lot of internet things in November of that year.  At that point, I was in a spiritual dead-zone and nothing felt like it was working right.  I had to take an absence from my Tumblr RP blog and focus on trying to get myself feeling better.  Most of 2017 was a variation of that and I did begin to wonder if Loki had just declared me boring or not worth the time and had taken off.

However, back around September and October, things started to feel a bit better and my contact with him was there, pretty much as it always has been.  He just seems to push me to solve things on my own when it’s the best way for me to learn.

I have never had a ‘clear and unmistakable’ contact with Loki, and I don’t think the Gods really work like that.  I think they speak to us though dreams and impressions at first, then through whispers in your head you know weren’t your own inner voice.  Then again, this may be the way I experience these conversations.  I just don’t really think they speak as though they were sitting in the room with us.  It’d be nice, but it’d be far too easy at the same time.

Especially with Loki.

Things are moving along though, and I may decide to write more of this down as it becomes clearer.
If readers are interested in me blogging about what I’ve learned so far, please let me know.

Loki… I finally got my LOKI TATTOO!

IMG_20160423_194220421Tattoo. I finally got the tattoo!  What ended up finally motivating me was the possibility of more surgery in the future. (I love this tat!!)

It’s been about a year and a half since the hysterectomy and I was hoping that maybe the Endo my doctor found wouldn’t return to bother me.  But in the last several months, I have been feeling worse (sigh).  Speaking to a doctor locally confirmed that it’s entirely possible the damn Endo is back and making me sick.

So. I got the Loki tattoo when I was in Phoenix to visit my Daddy this last weekend.  He’d offered to pay for my first tattoo when I was ready and so we went in on Saturday and we got this wonderful black tattoo at “Top Rocker Tattoo” in Arrowhead, Phoenix, Arizona.

I am so happy with this tattoo.  Now I can bring Loki with me even into surgery and other medical things, when I can’t wear my pendant or anything else.  I look at the tattoo and it makes me happy.  I think of Loki, of how he’s been there for me during the scary parts of my life, as well as I now have memories of my Dad and the amazing experience we had together as I got this tattoo.  I love my Dad very much.  He’s a really incredible guy and he’sTOLKIEN a tough old marine.

He introduced me to Lord of the Rings and the man who influenced me to begin to write, J. R. R. Tolkien.

“It’s an adventure,” my Dad said as we pulled into the parking lot of the ‘Top Rocker’ tattoo shop in Arrowhead shopping plaza.

It’s been a sentiment we’ve always had during the scarier/stressful parts of our lives and it’s because of, as Dad put it, “Ol’ Bilbo.  He had to tell himself it was an adventure, didn’t he, sis?” (‘Sis’ is because I’m the oldest in my family, my brother is younger than me by 9 years.)

I’ve even repeated this to my own kids… even as I drove my (17 year old Aspergers) son on the 200+ mile drive to Phoenix this last weekend to visit my Dad and brother (who happens to be my son’s favorite guy in the world).  “It’s an adventure, Lith*.”

I’m still trying to figure out how to tell my Mom, since she’ll most likely get on my Dad (they’re divorced) about paying for it and encouraging me…  But I’ll figure it out.  I love my Mom as much as I do my Dad (glad they are divorced, btw!  More on that someday).

Anyway, I’m happy and glad I got it before I might have to look forward to further Endometriosis surgeries.  I can bring Loki with me everywhere.

*Lithium: my oldest

Grouchy, Sick and Neglectful… and (at least!) Writing

too_many_choices1This post is a variety of things.  I’ve been sick over the weekend which has made things kind of frustrating for me.  I guess I just need to vent a bit or something.

One point seems to be the entry in my Correspondences document on December 13 as Loki’s Birthday.  I remember reading a blog somewhere, where the poster explained why that worked and at the time, I liked the idea.  Problem is, I don’t know who that was or where the post was.  I have been looking for it the last week and couldn’t find it.

December 13 came up and… (maybe because I’m sick, I don’t quite know)… it just didn’t feel right at all, you know?  So I took the entry off the Correspondences for now, until I work this out to an extent I’m comfortable with.

I also have been working on a new novel.  Helping Nayru (my bff) get her first book ready for publication, I came across our chosen publisher’s Oromance-gay-wedding-cake-topper-0pen Submission Call page.  So, since I’m always interested in what kind of open calls publishers have going on, I took a look at it.  They’re doing an

Open Call for Gay Marriage romances, but it closes today, actually.  Luckily for me, when I was looking at this, it was a couple weeks ago.

So I grabbed a piece I had been working with and continued to work on it, running a quick edit and outlining, hoping I could come up with a good story that would come in at at least 20K (that’s 20,000 words).  I do wish I’d known about this a while ago, of course.

So thinking I might actually be able to do this book before the deadline, I launched into it and was working.  Unfortunately, other stuff, like life, was

getting in the way and slowing me down.  And, to be honest, a lot of that was also me.  I have so many stupid blocks in writing now, it’s hard.  I really wish I could write like I did in High School, when I’d just spend the whole day writing and enjoying what I was doing.  Ah well.

Anyway, I managed to get going with it, and then ended up getting diagnosed with a sinus infection and got put on antibiotics.  Which, of course, pretty much derailed my weekend.

This last weekend, I got the house to myself and my dog and I was writer-1planning to use it to get some serious writing done.  Well, it was pretty clear by Saturday that 20K wasn’t happening, and I needed a day to create a submission packet.  Luckily for me, this publisher happens to accept Proposals on WIPs (works in progress), and I had enough finished that I could definitely do a Proposal.  I got together what I had, edited and polished it as much as I could with it being the first 3 chapters and spent yesterday working on the synopsis and the submission packet.  So I got it out to the publisher before the deadline, which was good.

Problem is, I still feel like I didn’t get what I told everyone else I was going to do, done.  I think being sick, taking the antibiotics that make me feel a bit worse, and being generally grouchy anyway don’t help my outlook on the word at this point.

That, and I feel really like I’ve been neglecting Loki a lot as well.  I really wanted to do something special for the 13th, but wasn’t really able to do much more than set up my altar space (which, becrainbow+high_resolution+pc_thems+mobile+wallpapers 2ause of the way the house is currently set up, is a shelf on my wall book case) and put the little electric candles on (luckily, since Loki is very connected to electricity/lightning in my experience, this works out well).  I did use my ‘Loki Scarf’; a delicate, Irish burnout velvet scarf which is more of a ‘sacred vestment’ kind of thing; as an altar cloth.  I plan on swapping this out, but it felt like the least I could do since I’d felt like I was being so neglectful lately.

I suppose I should really give myself a break, since I’ve been sick and dizzy, but that’s really hard to do.

On another note though, I have made a commitment to write more and the first thing I am doing is only writing for at least 10 minutes a day.  So this includes blog posts (as long as avatar_58a8f20e3f81_128it’s straight writing).  I’m hoping to get back into the habit of writing a lot more often this way.

By the way, this post took 20 minutes to write. Yay!

Catechism for a witch’s child

Catechism for a witch’s child

by J.L. Stanley.

When they ask to see your gods

your book of prayers

show them lines

drawn delicately with veins

on the underside of a bird’s wing

tell them you believe

in giant sycamores mottled

and stark against a winter sky

and in nights so frozen

stars crack open spilling streams of molten ice to earth

and tell them how you drank

the holy wine of honeysuckle

on a warm spring day

and of the softness

of your mother

who never taught you

death was life’s reward

but who believed in the earth

and the sun

and a million, million light years

of being.

(I found this online a while ago and came across it tonight. I always wanted to give this to one of my kids.  I asked Glimmering (14) to read it tonight and I think they liked it.)