November 29

I don’t have much explanation for why I’ve been so sparse on this blog since last year.  I’ve been pretty lethargic and just out of sorts for a while, pretty much since last September.

Since my last post, I got two more tattoos; chaos star and red, black and white stars. I also was able to get a favorite manuscript of mine re-published with a new e-book publisher.  Politics took its toll on me as well and I pretty much stopped doing a lot of internet things in November of that year.  At that point, I was in a spiritual dead-zone and nothing felt like it was working right.  I had to take an absence from my Tumblr RP blog and focus on trying to get myself feeling better.  Most of 2017 was a variation of that and I did begin to wonder if Loki had just declared me boring or not worth the time and had taken off.

However, back around September and October, things started to feel a bit better and my contact with him was there, pretty much as it always has been.  He just seems to push me to solve things on my own when it’s the best way for me to learn.

I have never had a ‘clear and unmistakable’ contact with Loki, and I don’t think the Gods really work like that.  I think they speak to us though dreams and impressions at first, then through whispers in your head you know weren’t your own inner voice.  Then again, this may be the way I experience these conversations.  I just don’t really think they speak as though they were sitting in the room with us.  It’d be nice, but it’d be far too easy at the same time.

Especially with Loki.

Things are moving along though, and I may decide to write more of this down as it becomes clearer.
If readers are interested in me blogging about what I’ve learned so far, please let me know.

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2 thoughts on “November 29

  1. Me too. Be glad you didn’t go through what I did last fall and winter where it seemed like I was being attacked by demons and other creepy crawlers that go bump in the night. Shadow people, nightmares, scary entities and a tachnichardia episode on New Year’s eve that landed me in the hospital all night being given intravenous fluids and potassium. I also suspect a woman in the state of Delaware I was talking to at the time who was into demons and creepy aliens. I cut off contact with her and another like her in Nebraska I’ve known for years and the nightmares stopped. It seemed like I was always either fighting, running, or being forced into frightening perilous scenarios. I went through a spiritual dead period before that in 2015 to 2016 where things picked up again. 2017 was just chaotic. Loki was present here and there, but I think part of my experiences were an initiation into something I have no idea of. Loki showed me a scene of him in a black robe and some kind of animal bone mask in a clearing in a beechwood. He had a circle of white stones/bones with runes on them much like this white cloth I used to have that I used in ritual years ago. He had a sword in one hand and gestured for me to sit in the circle. He didn’t say what he was doing. But after that, the week before Halloween, the nightmares and frightening visions started and lasted till February where things finally took a better turn. The first of these was an out of body experience where I walked into my bathroom in the dark, somehow being able to see, and stood in front of one of my mirrors to see my face morphing into these scary faces, like something was doing it through me. Then it faded to black where I was just a shadow. This scared me so bad I had to talk to friends to calm down and think more rationally about it. I’m still wondering why I was shown that. Something to do with my self image and fear of death I think. After that came way too realistic nightmares about being plunged into a giant whirlpool in the ocean and falling down a broken elevator shaft. Then came the shadow people and me either destroying them with the light or running away. The creepiest experience was me thinking I had woken up and was floating above my bed with faint rainbow lights around the room. The shadow people were there too all stretched out around and above me, but they didn’t seem to be real somehow. There was no sentience. If this series of events was some type of initiation, it was a messed up one. I still don’t know what I”m supposed to learn from this and never want to go through it again.

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